IAMWOK POWER RANKING 2013

kelly slater

hi im kelly ” if i don’t win the world title , ill miss 4 events so i have an excuse” slater
classic benjamin button case , gets older yet gets better , maybe its the coconut water he endorses or maybe he using pamela andersons surgeon , either way hes the best there ever will be , but for fucks sake die already

mick fanning

the peoples champ , the nice guy , the not so good looking guy , the guy who will stop for a photo , the guy who has the best carve in the business , the guy who wont quit , the typical stand up australian.

john john

the million dollar kid , my pick for 2013 , hes so fucken insane i just wanna rape him then i wanna fuck his bank account. no doubt he will win a world title the question is when , seeing what he produced last year , i think this could be year of the john

adriano de souza

loved by all brazillians , hated by every surfer on tour , the little man with a big heart a passionate little fuck , never gives up , hes really good at snaking hes become so good that hes learnt how to block his opponents even in a man on man heat , seems impossible ? not with with adriano , surfing wise has all the tricks of the trade , sick backhand , ugly aerialist.

taj burrow

has a steady girlfriend now , probably a great thing , keep his mind off the pussy , start getting some big results again , always gonna a be threat not only to your girlfriend but to the tour for 2013

gabriel medina

dads a dickhead from what i saw when moaning to the judges , he cried when he lost to julian in portugal , what a little poof , aside from that , big fucken punts , lands them in heats to , repertoire on a very large scale , most likely brazils first and last world champ , up to john john to stop him
prediction 2013: between him and john john for a title

josh kerr

i like josh , always exciting to watch him when he goes to the air , he charges like a fucken mad man too , been doing lots of couple things with jordy and his girl lyndall , im curious to know what they talk about? on the surfing side , most exciting surfer to watch when he goes to the air , lands about 95% of his tricks , charges like a mad kunt to.

julian wilson

hes like the quarterback for dallas cowboys , bitches love him , got a bit of a shotgun nose though , he needs to be fucking supermodels so his stats can go up , rumor has it hes more focused on his actual surfing though , which is a good thing , seems hungry for a world title , can he do it? possibly but always does good in the random events , grew up on points so you would expect him to be taking out snapper and jbay but lands up buckling , great in the air smooth and powerful , could definitely be a threat but and a big but , he needs to lose the puke necklace

owen wright

interesting enough had a shitty 2012 , i felt like he was always a contender , great competitor has all the tricks , lanky motherfucker yet really strong and super focused on his training , one thing i found with him is that his surfing is so good and precise that when he lands big moves they so controlled and effortless it sometimes loses points with the judges , seems unfair , all round nice guy

jeremy flores

turned into a little bit of a thug , and i love gangsters , used to be the little pretty french boy , now spends his time hanging out with big MMA fighters and hawaiian mokes , become super tight with sunny garcia and doesn’t mind a party , part owner of moskova , on paper hes my kinda guy , unfortunately never gonna win a world title , but will continue to get results and stay on tour , seems like hes paving a way in big wave surfing if all else fails , he will join the french mafia

jordy smith

aka “man bear pig” big big boy with lots of money and fancy watches filled with diamonds , one of my best friends so its a chance for me to be honest , talent wise , best surfer in all aspects , power,style and tricks , he has it all , terrible 2012 for him and he knows it , what does he need to do ? he needs to motherfucken win , he knows how to do it , maybe he just forgot last , but i know a firework has just been lit up his ass and hes ready for a big 2013 , john john , jordy , medina are the names to keep an eye on this year

cj hobgood

heard he has a twin brother

adrian buchan

not much bad to say about this guy , solid goofy footer , always flies under the radar

michel bourez

they call him the “spartan” due to the fact that he looks like a damn spartan , hes this good looking , super tanned tarzan looking motherfucker , bitches love him coz he looks exotic , the judges score him coz they scared if they don’t they will get arm barred or choked out. super solid surfer , probably the most powerful on tour , can take down big names but never hold it all the way to a final.

damien hobgood

has a twin brother , obviously the other brother is better due to the fact he is 2 places ahead , but they must pretty identical if they so close together on the leader board

miguel pupo

skinny little brazillian , very crookered teeth , you would think hurley could sort that shit out , hate to say it but i feel hes stayed on tour not by real surfing but by doing 360 air after 360 air

alejo muniz

one of the nicer coco pops , also got some serious dental issues , but he has braces at the moment and will smashing the hottest bitches in sao paolo in no time , surfs a bit different to your average brazillian , he has the 360 air nailed down tight but also has a series of powerful gouges and hacks in his repertoire , surfs a little like dane reynolds but more on a brazillian scale huh

kieren perrow

kp will not die , he just keeps coming back , i think even his children are having children , fuck sakes how old is he? i heard his first contest was against the duke at waikiki maybe that will give you some clarification , jokes aside he is amazing in the big stuff , but the sad thing is its hardly big on tour , and his normal surfing is just way to boring , no flair , hes had a good run , the asp must now induct him in the hall of fame and give him a rocking chair retirement present.

bede durbidge

the best most unmarketable surfer on planet earth , hes won the pipe masters , yet he probably still makes peanuts , someone give him a fucken perm already and lets make this kunt famous .
surfing wise ? everyone knows who he is and what hes capable of , but will 2013 an indication of our past heroes slipping away and out of the world tour as we know it?

travis logie

this little bastard can sure shake things up , hes known to have saved kelly slaters world title hopes not once but twice , his backhand shows characteristics of an acrobat , just when we think hes done he pulls crazy shit out the bag , remember tahiti? course you do .

kai otton