Jan 14, 2014
being a top sportsman nowadays meaning lots of training , diets have to be up to standard , you cant be eating burgers and milkshakes and expecting to be on top of your game , unless you these few lucky dudes who can munch till the mother fucken lights go out and then wake up and rip all day , these are the best fattest surfers off all time
daniel is the best fattest surfer to come out of south africa hands down , his nickname is “the fat” thats what ricky basnett nicknamed him , one year in europe during the wqs leg he ate a loaf of bread with every meal for a month , myself and travis logie basically watched him grow in our apartment which was very tiny , we almost had to move out because space became so tight. don’t be alarmed when you look at daniel you may think , wok has gone mad he’s not fat , but look closer he’s a fatty hahaha how do you think he throws so much spray? its that big ol gut he throws around
probably the best fattest surfer in the world , the way he is built and the way he surfs makes absolute no sense to me , he fucken rips , backside frontside airs barrels and turns he’s got it all with the sickest style , yet he looks like a mini sumo wrestler and when he walks he waddles , he’s like this big hawiian bear you just wanna hug and sleep next to every night
i do not know this guy but my god he is fat as fuck , not sure how he even gets to his feet, i always see photos of him getting barrelled in bali , those pits have got to be 10 by 10 at least coz this dude is a house. his physique resembles a young dan redman with a gozzy hair do , hes probably not hard to beat in a paddle battle.
was once this gold haired slim looking model boy that was one of the best up and coming surfers in the world , he basically was every girls dream , good looking and talented , only problem was he was always taken by the love of his love , he was obviously in such a comfort zone that he let himself go , simon became really good friends with this beer called “hansa’
they became so close it almost seemed like he cheating hahaha simon introduced me to drinking beer , the only difference was our bodies took the carbs a little differently he blew out and i still looked good , he’s lost a lot of weight now , but my lord he was looking like captain chunks for a while
im not talking about occy now , even though occ is super thick he’s not fat now , but there was a stage when he got fatty boom boom , if you have seen the occumentry then you will know what I’m talking about. he got really fucken big then lost all his weight and won a world title , he’s basically like a chick the way he fluctuates
wilko oh ya this one can pack on the pounds easily , probably the most unhealthiest surfer ever to make the tour , he’s kind of a symbol of hope for all of us kids out there who want to be able to balance being a party animal and a professional sportsman at the same time , he’s got an odd shaped body , straight legs and a beer bop with a perm on top , he’s like an egg with legs , not sure how does the shit he does on a surfboard , he should be on discovery channel
cheese burger is the funniest human ever , he’s like a smaller rounder version of kekoa bacalao , he charges pipe pretty fucken hard , i reckon when he hts the bottom he probably gets shot back up off the reef like a soccer ball coming off concrete , he’s mason ho’s counterpart and he actually fucken rips pretty hard , seen him doin his thing at rocky lefts , his nickname is cheese burger , you do the math?
i haven’t seen adam in a few years , but last i saw him he was looking fat , he’s short to , so the fat shows , its so weird how short people get fat hahah adam is from ventura where dane reynolds is from , so you know he rips , he skateboards sick to , they make good burritos where he’s from , he just had a few too many accompanied by pacificos
basically the biggest hell man that ever lived , if you had balls you would be called briley , he disappeared for a while and then when he resurfaced not one but two shawn brileys appeared , its was like he must of ate another person , he blew out bad , apparently he surfed mavericks in board shorts , not sure if thats coz he had huge balls or just a coat of blubber on him
william cardosa is thick as fuck , in a full suit he looks like the michelin man his legs are like tree trunks and he’s got a bit of chunk around the belly , he has one of the best backhands on tour i think and wins comps , probably the only fat brazillian in the world